You’re In An Autobiographical Occasion. Now What?

How a Little-Known Academic Term Helps Us Better Understand Our Life Story

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Everyone agrees we’re in a massive transition, but few agree on the best way to navigate it. Every Wednesday at The Nonlinear Life we focus on life transitions. Specifically, how to turn this period of uncertainty and stress into one of growth and renewal.

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In the summer of 386 C.E., the brilliant but hedonistic North African teacher of rhetoric, Augustine of Hippo, was walking outdoors in Milan when he heard the voice of a child singing, “Pick it up and read it! Pick it up and read it!” After first thinking the song was part of a game, Augustine soon realized the child was referring to the Bible. He located a copy and opened it to a passage that warned against carousing, drunkenness, and lust. Augustine had indulged in all three, but at that moment, he felt his heart flood with light. He converted to Christianity, was baptized, and eventually became the most influential thinker in early church history.

But that may not be the most consequential thing Augustine did. Spurred by his conversion, he went on to write a detailed account of his early life of sin in a salaciously revealing memoir called The Confessions. Augustine, in effect, invented the modern autobiography.

Augustine of Hippo

But why? Why would a prominent Christian leader publicly reveal everything about his inner life, from his newly sprouted pubic hair to his involuntary erections? As it happens, he addressed the question head-on in Book X. According to Augustine, his “inward healer” compelled him to write, and his conscience drove him to share his personal transformation to show that we’re all capable of moving beyond our past evil deeds.

Augustine’s conversion was more than just a lifequake or life transition—it was also an autobiographical occasion.

The term autobiographical occasion is a mostly forgotten academic expression that I’m on a mission to return to prominence. I undertook this quixotic mission because I believe this phrase brilliantly captures the experience of going through a tumultuous time. In other words, it’s the perfect phrase for today.

Sociologist Robert Zussman coined the term in 1996 to describe the moments in our lives when we are summoned, or required, to provide accounts of ourselves. He mentioned work, school, and credit applications; confessions, both religious and criminal; reunions of various sorts; therapies of various sorts; and diaries. He might have added doctor’s appointments, first dates—even long plane rides with strangers (back when we did those). If accounts of everyday life are episodic and situational, autobiographical occasions are broader in scope and involve efforts to make sense of a wide range of occurrences.

“They are not simply stories about events; they are stories about lives,” Zussman writes. “They are those special occasions on which we are called on to reflect in systematic and extended ways on who we are and what we are.”

This term captures what happens to most people after they experience a significant life rift. Really, any major disruption is an autobiographical occasion. In my own life, getting married was an autobiographical occasion, as was having twins and later cancer; my parents are both in the midst of autobiographical occasions right now as they experience the realities of lives in their mid-80s. Hell, the entire planet is in an autobiographical occasion these days, which explains why people are quitting their jobs, moving to new places, and generally feeling anxious.

An autobiographical occasion is any moment when we are encouraged or obliged to reimagine who we are. It’s a narrative event when our existing life story is altered or redirected in some way, forcing us to revisit our preexisting identity and modify it for our life going forward.

In the more than 400 life story interviews I’ve conducted over the last four years, I’ve asked every person whether their biggest lifequake occasioned a rewriting of their life story. Three-quarters said yes. A number of these people said they didn’t realize at first that the experience would trigger this kind of personal reevaluation, but that over time they did come to see it this way.

This slow realization suggests that while academics have come to understand that a big part of meaning-making is adjusting our life stories to accommodate a new life reality, most of us have yet to embrace this language. Storytelling can be intimidating for non-storytellers; PTSD from childhood writing assignments still lingers among many adults. Writing a story can sometimes feel as appealing as learning a new instrument or taking the SAT for the hell of it.

Me, interviewing Mike Ward about his life story.

One reason I started this newsletter was to destigmatize the everyday act of adjusting your life story to reflect the reality of your life today. In the coming weeks and months, I’ll have lots more to say about all this, including some of my favorite storytelling tips.

But for today, try this simple step: Think of three simple ways your life has changed since the first day of lockdown. Before, I did this or Back then I felt that. Contrast that with, Now, I do this or These days, I feel that.

Next: Explain what brought about that change. What happened between column A and column B to lead you to feel how you feel today?

That’s a story.

At its simplest, a story is two things connected over time.

Now, the most important step: Tell that story to someone else. Once you do that, the story that’s been living inside your head will be turned into an autobiographical occasion.

That simple act of sharing your story will make you feel less alone; it will bring you closer to someone you live with or work with, and it will make the road ahead a little less lonely. Put another way, by making this moment an autobiographical occasion, you help prepare yourself to get the most out of the next chapter of your life story.

HELPING FAMILIES TRANSITIONS TO FALL: Other Articles in This Series

Helping Families Transition to Fall – September 9Adult Back to School – September 13The Hardest Part of Forgiveness – September 15Three Questions to Ask Your Children Every Week - September 17The Three Most Important Things to Say to Someone in a Life Crisis - September 20

The Noticing Game – September 24'The New Normal:' The Problem with Everyone's Favorite Phrase – September 27

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Thanks for reading The Nonlinear Life. Please help us grow the community by subscribing, sharing, and commenting below. Also, you can learn more about me, read my introductory post, or scroll through my other posts.

You might enjoy reading these posts:

Week 1 in this series: Farewell to the Linear Life

The Three Most Important Words to Say to Someone in a Life Crisis

Three Questions to Ask Your Children Every Week

Or these books: Life Is in the Transitions, The Secrets of Happy Families, Abraham, Walking the Bible, and Council of Dads.

Or, you can contact me directly.