‘The New Normal:’ The Problem with Everyone’s Favorite Phrase
Why We Should Stop Expecting Predictability and Learn to Live with Constant Change
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Every Monday on The Nonlinear Life we talk about words to live by. We look at popular sayings, mottos, buzzwords, proverbs, truisms, and aphorisms. Are they true? Are they outdated? Are they worth our time? We also talk writing and speaking tips. Oh, and dad jokes!
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There’s a truth in the world today that we can no longer deny: The phrase ‘the new normal’ has taken over the world.
There’s a new normal in public health.
One in work.
One in politics.
Oh, there’s also one in sex. And another in sex. And another. And…
Well, you get the point.
Like it or not, lots of people are claiming there’s a new normal out there.
There’s only one problem: The phrase is a trap.
The idea behind the new normal is inviting on the surface. At its core, the phrase suggests that life settles into a fresh equilibrium after a period of crisis, instability, or upheaval, and we all find ways to adapt to a reality that once seemed unimaginable. Who can disagree with that sentiment?
Um, I can.
I first encountered this phrase when I was going through cancer treatment 13 years ago, and I was clearly not alone. The idea is popular in medical circles to signal to patients and caretakers alike that over time they will come to live with the ongoing disruption and ever-present anxiety.
But I’ve come to question, even dislike, this term in the intervening years, and the sheer ubiquity of it during the pandemic has made me positively recoil.
The first problem with the new normal is that everyone thinks it’s new. Any number of people of late seem to believe they originated the phrase. Fast Company even ran an entire issue devoted to the topic in 2003 in which the editors claimed the phrase was first used in their own pages, in that year, by a Silicon Valley investor.
“The term New Normal was first coined by Roger McNamee, one of the smartest, most successful, and most knowledgeable technology investors in the world. He introduced the phrase in our IdeaFest package last January (FC 66), and we found the term and McNamee’s explanation of it so intriguing that we went back to him for more.”
Perhaps Mr. McNamee invested in Google, and the editors might have used that platform to discover that the phrase goes back more than a century.
As early as 1918, writers were discussing this idea in the wake of World War I.
“The questions before us, therefore, are, broadly, two: How shall we pass from war to the new normal with the least jar, in the shortest time? In that respect should the new normal be shaped to differ from the old?”
In some ways, the idea makes more sense in the context of the early twentieth century. Those were more linear times when the nascent fields of economics, physics, and psychology described life as a series of predictable, steady stages.
Today we know better. Life is filled with chaos and complexity, stability and instability, a never-ending swirl of constant change. If a butterfly flaps its wings in Brazil, it sets of a tornado in Texas.
The point is, just as the physical world is full of instability, our lives are, too. My data from 400 life story interviews show that we experience 36 disruptors in the course of adult lives; that’s one every 12 to 18 months. There’s not a lot of time for normal in the face of such steady change.
Portrait of John Keats, English poet.
So how should we think about today? Well, for starters, instead of listening to all the weak thinking behind a bunch of clickbait headlines, we should listen instead to the poets, playwrights, and songwriters who have been telling us all along that life is everchanging.
Like Keats, who credited Shakespeare with the insight that humans must accept the contradictions of life: “I mean Negative Capability, that is when man is capable of being in uncertainties, Mysteries, doubts, without any irritable reaching after fact & reason.”
Like Bob Dylan, who in his classic song “The Times They Are-A-Changin” said don’t get too comfortable in the face of good or too downtrodden in the face of bad:
And don't speak too soonFor the wheel's still in spinAnd there's no tellin' whoThat it's namin'
Like singer-songwriter Thomas Rett, who in his song “Life Changes” explains that life rarely follows a script.
You never know what’s gonna happen
You make your plans and you hear God laughin’
That song reached #1 on the country chart, and the video has been viewed more than 17 million times, suggesting lots of people agree.
The new normal may be comforting alright, but it packs a sucker punch because it leads us to believe that once stability reappears, instability will disappear. That may seem true for a while, but life teaches us that it won’t for long.
Because the real truth about the new normal is that the abnormal is not far behind. The key is to normalize both.
HELPING FAMILIES TRANSITIONS TO FALL: Other Articles in This SeriesHelping Families Transition to Fall – September 9Adult Back to School – September 13The Hardest Part of Forgiveness – September 15Three Questions to Ask Your Children Every Week - September 17The Three Most Important Things to Say to Someone in a Life Crisis - September 20You’re In an Autobiographical Occasion. Now What? – September 22The Noticing Game – September 24
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You might enjoy reading these posts:
You're In An Autobiographical Occasion. Now What?
The Three Most Important Words to Say to Someone in a Life Crisis
Or these books: Life Is in the Transitions, The Secrets of Happy Families, Council of Dads.
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