Our Five Biggest Pieces of the Year (and What They Taught Me About What We All Need Right Now)
My Top Takeaways from Year 1 of 'The Nonlinear Life'
Welcome to Best of the Year, our wrap-up of all our most popular posts and favorite comments from readers like you. We love hearing your feedback—here on Bulletin, or on Facebook, Instagram, or LinkedIn. Your feedback helps us learn what you like and build community.
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Out of a chaos, a flicker of light.
In the middle of a tumultuous time in all of our lives, I launched a bit of a counterattack this year. A tiny flare of light that said, Hey, I know we're all struggling. What if we try to do it together?
What if I ask big questions in small forms? What if I say there are no right answers? What if I try to chew on big topics in bite-sized form?
I called it The Nonlinear Life: A Newsletter About Navigating Life's Twists and Turns.
I've done a few things right, I'm pleased to say. I've done a lot more things wrong. Thank you for your patience, your feedback, your loyalty. Thank you for your comments, your criticisms, even your occasional copyediting! For all the relentless toxicity of the Internet, I can still feel the yearning for connection that continues to lure many of us back.
A status update: Our subscribers are growing, our readership is taking off, our email open rate is twice the industry average. My questions don't always resonate, my headlines don't always work, my jokes don't always land. I still haven't figured out how to use certain features or open a tip jar.
But my overall takeaway is that this experiment just might work. That there is an audience and an appetite for short-form writing on long-form topics, even in a world in which attention spans are bombarded, cruelty is the prevailing rhetorical form of the moment, and heat generates more clicks than light.
And that leads to the number 1 thing I've learned writing these pieces and sending out these emails over the last six months: As you can see below, the pieces that land the most are the most personal, the scariest to write, the ones that grapple with the hardest topics, and the ones that reach for the highest bar. I rarely reach that bar, of course. But what I've learned from you is that the reaching is the most important part.
Here's to stretching in the year ahead. And maybe, on occasion, catching a glimpse of an unseen star.
The first piece I wrote that really popped was a reminder that everyone struggles with one of life's most essential skills: how to forgive others and how to forgive yourself. I find it poignant now that this piece focuses on the life of Desmond Tutu, who died this month after an inspiring life leading one of the greatest forgiveness efforts of all time.
Your comments were enlightening and insightful:
This is great advice I think I can use it this weekend for a tough situation - Pam Jolley
And gave us even more food for thought:
How do you forgive someone for something you know they are going to do again? - Tracy Lapsley
Our second biggest piece of the year: What to say to someone in a moment of indecision. Every single person you know is considering a major change in their life right now. And every single one of us struggles with what to say that might help. I'm touched that so many find these ideas helpful.
Love this so much! - Nina De Angelo
Great article, especially during these difficult times where most people are going through a lot. - Karin Andrea
I hestitated before sharing my eulogy for my dad on this newsletter. But I vowed to be myself when I started, and I decided to err on the side of being raw and real. Thank you for embracing this piece so generously—and for all the expressions of love and support you shared. I still miss you, Dad.
That is the most beautiful tribute I've ever read. Having spent the majority of my life in Savannah, I of course knew of your father, but I was never was blessed to know him. Clearly a great loss to me. Thank you for sharing your heart and your stories of your great AND good dad. - Robin Martin Grenchik
I am so sorry for the loss of your father, Bruce. Thank you so much for sharing this tribute. So beautiful and so many things to live by. I hope to get to read his memoir one day. - Beth Loyd
Another experiment I tried this year: Sharing some of the more inspiring people I've met doing research for my last book, Life Is in the Transitions, and my new book (details to come!). Christy Moore is a revelation, and I loved that so many of you passed this story onto friends.
Her journey was FANTASTIC! What a great turnaround. - Douglas Henley
And let us know how her life adventure helped inform yours:
This story reassures me that it’s okay to take a different path! - Susan Drindak Nichols
The biggest single piece I've done. I am heartened this story—about how an obscure Jewish phrase became the go-to expression of love during the pandemic—is a reminder of how ancient wisdom can bring comfort in modern times. And I loved your comments. As we find ourselves in another moment of fear and anxiety at year's end, I hope some of the ideas in this piece will make us all a little more compassionate of those around us who are suffering.
When I lost my husband one of my best friends hugged me after his service and said “I’m holding your hand now and always." And she still is. - Allison Anne
This newsletter popped up at just the right time. Tomorrow we attend the visitation for a high school senior who passed in a tragic car accident. A beautiful soul who had his life planned out And passed too soon. Our community is heartbroken. I was just speaking with my daughter about things to say to his family this afternoon. This is perfect. Thank you for sharing. - Sharon Steven Virostek
The most comforting thing to me was them acknowledging that there's no way they could understand what I'm feeling, that if I need them, even just to vent to, day or night, that they would be there, and to hang on to my good memories, because sometimes that's all that gets you through the hardest times. - Katy Kalman
Please stay healthy, warm, and safe. I am grateful to have you on this journey. We will get through this together. And we will help one another along the way, See you next year.
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Thanks for reading The Nonlinear Life. Please help us grow the community by subscribing, sharing, and commenting below. Also, you can learn more about me, read my introductory post, or scroll through my other posts.
Or these books: Life Is in the Transitions, The Secrets of Happy Families, Council of Dads.
Or, you can also contact me directly.
