A Fun & Easy Family Tradition
My Family Has Been Holding Competitive Taste-offs for Years. Here’s How You Can, Too.
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My extended family has gathered every August for four generations on Tybee Island, Georgia, off the coast of Savannah. About twelve years ago, one family member announced they ere off to hard-boil some eggs, at which point every person at the table chimed in with their own special technique – not for peeling the eggs but for boiling them.
One person liked water with salt, another water with no salt; one preferred 10 minutes of boiling time, another 15 minutes; some insisted on putting the eggs in cold water and having them rise in temperature as they boil; others preferred bringing the water to a boil then plopping the eggs in afterward
We ended up trying all the different techniques and voting. We called it egg-a-palooza.
The following year we decided to make it a tradition.
Every summer since, we’ve held a taste-off. We’ve done maple syrup, barbecue sauce, jelly, popcorn, potato chips, olive oil, ice cream, chocolate bars, apples, honey, seltzer, and this year, applesauce.
Our name for this game: The Slurpoff.
Three of 18 candidates in this year's Slurpoff spread.
Here’s how it works: Commissioners are appointed to run the event. For years it was my father and me; now, I have recruited one of my teenage daughters to join me. About six weeks before the appointed date, the commissioners announce the selection. Every family brings multiple samples, usually accompanied by trash talk about how their hand-picked entry from some treasured farmer’s market or roadside stand will definitely be the winner. The commissioners make up a ballot of three voting criteria – usually some combination of appearance, texture, flavor, satisfaction, or some other choice specific to the entry.
Samples are labeled alphabetically and served in anonymous containers. Participants of all ages vote in each category, using a system of 1-10. Whining, complaining, and using words like gross gross and vomit are forbidden but happen anyway. The commissioners then tally every vote and announce both the losers and winners. Then the oohs, aahs, finger-pointing, and I’m never going to buy that brand agains commence.
"Ew:" A Slurpoff ballot for appleauce. My typo, "flabor," has become an instant classic, sure to be repeated in the future.
Some tips from experience:
1. The single hardest part is choosing foods that everyone will eat. In my family alone, we have picky eaters, chocolate haters, gluten allergies, and, worst of all, lots of people who don’t like pickles. We managed to slide chocolate bars into a summer when that particular hater was away starting college.
2. Try to come up with foods that need no prep. One person had to grill chicken fingers for hours the year we did barbecue sauce, and we vowed never to have an entry that required cooking again.
3. The game is more fun with ringers, which is to say foods with extreme flavors or are downright silly. The children still scrunch their noses as the “devil’s revenge” popcorn entry with red pepper flakes. With applesauce this year, I included baby food. The most memorable ringer we used: Fake maple syrup of the kind you find in a plastic container at a diner or summer camp. My New England-born wife threatened to shun my family forever when that corn-syrup-laden version with no natural maple came in second overall.
The applesauce Slurpoff candidates. Which one do you think you would like?
Slurpoffs are a highlight of my family’s year. It’s a rare game that eighty-somethings and eight-year-olds can play as equals. And it changes almost everyone’s buying habits. The only downside I can identify after all these years: Trying to use up all the losing entries that crowd the house for days.
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The Cake with No Name: How the Pandemic Supercharged Time-Shifting Holidays
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